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What do you remember about September 11?
My heart still aches when I see these images
I remember 10 years ago on September 11th like it was yesterday. I was a new husband, new father, and college student.
When my alarm clock sounded, there was no humorous banter by the radio hosts. There was no goofy song or parody. Instead, the voices that usually enabled us to wake up laughing were eerily serious. They claimed that a plane had flown into one of the two World Trade Towers.
It sounded like a bad joke.
I wish it had been.
When we realized that this “bit” wasn’t going to end, we ran to the living room in our 2 bedroom apartment in married student housing at East Texas Baptist University and turned on the television. The building was on fire.
I remember hearing my wife’s gasp.
And within 10 seconds of turning on the television, the second plane hit the other tower.
Stunned, my wife rushed to the nursery and picked our six-week old son (who’s now in 4th grade) out of his crib and placed him in my arms.
And there I stood, next to my wife in front of our television, holding our six-week old baby, wondering what kind of world he would grow up in.
And that’s the image that comes to mind when I remember September 11th.
What image do you think of when you remember September 11th?
image via flickr: hankplank
Instructing a Child’s Heart
Over the course of this summer, I picked up Tedd Tripp’s Instructing a Child’s Heart. I had read his magnum opus of child-rearing, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, had recommended it to everyone I knew, and was ready to take the next step in my studies as a daddy.
Shepherding and Instructing a Child’s Heart are the most gospel-centric parenting manuals I’ve come across
Tripp calls parents to “formative instruction,” – that is, we have a responsibility not merely to allow culture to form the thoughts and habits of our children or to think, somehow, that we will passively affect their thoughts and behaviors without any intentionality.
God calls us to instruct our children about what to believe, how to think from the Scriptures, and how to live… Our central objective in instruction, discipline and correction is heart change, not behavior change.
After an extended call for formative instruction, Tripp gives a brief explanation of what that instruction entails – including the sowing and reaping principle, authority, the glory of God, wisdom, completion in Christ, and the importance of the church. He closes the book by giving thoughts on the application of this instruction.
Chase the Heart
One of the big takeaways for our family can be summed up in the brief statement, “Chase the heart.” Any time our children misbehave or fight (and they give us plenty of opportunities), we remind one another that correcting the behavior is important, but is not the ultimate goal. We remind one another to “chase the heart,” and help our children discover what sin or underlying motivation caused the action to begin with.
Do they need to cease that behavior? Certainly.
But if we only get them to stop through command, threat of punishment, or offer of reward, we lose the opportunity to help our children recognize sin, teach them to rely on the gospel for forgiveness, and to train them in righteousness.
I can’t recommend Instructing a Child’s Heart more highly.
You’ll Always Get a Rose
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. At the Norman house, that means cards and candy and lots of love being shared. One of the things that I learned about my wife is that she’s not so much a fan of roses, but loves tulips (and that fact alone makes my Calvinist-heart sing!)
So on Valentine’s Day, I made sure that she received red tulips from her wonderful husband. And next to her tulips and her three cards (two from me, one from the kids), stood a single rose with some candy for my daughter, Allyson.
You see, as her daddy, I believe it’s my responsibility (and privilege) to capture my daughter’s heart as well. No boy will be the first to make her feel beautiful. No boy will be the first to capture her heart with soft words or flowers and cards. No boy will be the first to make her feel loved. My role as her father is to set the bar so high that, as a teen or adult, she refuses to ever settle for a boy. And so, as I kissed her on the head, I just let her know…
You’ll always get a rose.
I see it as my responsibility to display love to my little girl. Ever since she was a baby, I’ve made a very intentional effort to ensure that she knows how loved and beautiful she is, and how proud I was to be her daddy.
And when pull her aside later today (like I do every day) and tell her that I have a secret, and she leans in while I whisper, “Your daddy loves you,” she’ll look at my and grin. And she’ll respond, “That’s not a secret daddy. You tell me that all the time.”
At least I can say that I’m doing something right…
Reforming Marriage
There are several books that will not change your mind on a subject, but will entrench your position if you agree with it before ever picking it up. Reforming Marriage is such a book.
If you read the reviews on it at Amazon, you’ll notice that no one is impartial in regards to Reforming Marriage. One is either a raving fan, or thinks that it was written by a raving lunatic. Considering the subject matter and the frank manner in which the author discusses it, that shouldn’t come as a big surprise.
The author speaks frankly about marriage, headship and submission, and advocates a Complementarian position in marriage. This specific is not the (sinful) Chauvinist position where the husband dominates or domineers his wife, nor is it the (sinful) Egalitarian position which declares that God was wrong to create genders because there should not be any distinction between male and female.
The author specifically rebukes the feminist movement, which he in fact, attributes to weak men who have abdicated their God-given leadership roles:
“While it is true that the feminist movement is represented by female spokesmen, they are really nothing more than shills, fronting for a male lie… If Christian men had loved their wives as Christ loved the church, if they had given direction to their wives, if husbands had accepted their wives’ necessary help with their God-ordained vocation, there never would have been room for any kind of feminist thinking within the church.” (p. 32-33)
Considering I take the Bible seriously, and as a result am an advocate of complementarianism, I found little in Reforming Marriage to disagree with, but instead found myself highlighting often, reading it aloud with my wife, and agreeing over and over again. I also found it incredibly challenging because when you place God’s authority upon the shoulders of the husband in marriage, you also place the responsibility to lead it Biblically on the same shoulders. That continues to challenge me to love and cherish my wife as Christ loves the Church and gave himself up for her.
